Another Faux Accent and a D.A. Dump

Episode Four, "Death by Coconuts," opens with Louie eating up the Pirate life. The interview and soundbite look like they're from before the game started. Check cast interviews for reference. We also get Laurel's confusion over Azmyth's faux accent. She's not even sure it's British. "Weirdo," she simply states. Looks like old Azzie let his freak flag fly a little too soon on the Picton Castle.

The real tragedy this time though was Cheryl's nasty exit. The District Attorney's argument at court failed to sway the cold hearts turned against her. Nessa rolled her eyes and Jay sneered when she was dumped. But Jupiter gave a passionate defense: "Right now we're supposed to be in a competition to win these treasures and not punishing people, because she's friends with Joe Don? It's just not leaving a very good vibe on the ship at all."

It was a rather gut-wrenching moment, as we could see the pain riven on many of the Pirates' faces, making it the best PIRATE MASTER installment yet.

-Mr. Horatio

Tears, tears, tears

This was a pretty raw, sad stint for the Pirates. Cheryl was crying over the fact that she was losing out on the "popularity contest." Who can blame her? She kicks butt and did only what was asked of her. But hey kiddo, your lawyer ethics simply won't work against scoundrels.

Jupiter wiped away her own tears with both hands as she bid her pal goodbye. The girl power on the ship is lacking solidarity with Nessa clearly siding with some of the boys. (Was axing Cheryl part of her bid for Joe Don's affections?)

Heck, even Captain Louie seemed choked up.



"It's not fair," he said after hearing all the pleas. "Believe me, I don't like to be up here. But I'm here. So whoever gets cut adrift tonight, you can blame me. That's why the Captain is a marked man."

-Mr. Horatio

Um, could you repeat how the Pardon works one more time?

That Royal Pardon and how to use it was a mouthful. Cameron Daddo must have practiced his delivery for a week. Even so, he seemed less in love with the concept himself. "Oh, okay, alright, this is a pardon. This was worth something." Pause. "It's still worth something." Are you sure?

The look on the Pirates faces as Daddo explained how to use the Royal Pardon was priceless.

"How this will work is whoever has the Pardon will not be cut adrift at Pirates' Court," Daddo began. "Now that we have a Captain, Louie, the Royal Pardon is yours. Pirates can bid on the Royal Pardon. All bids must be in before you black spot the Pirates. Tomorrow night at Pirates' Court, I will reveal the highest bidder and that Pirate will pay you in full whether they need the Pardon or not. If the Pirate who buys the Pardon does not use it, they must sell it before the next Pirates' Court."

As they staggered below deck the Pirates had blank expressions. I don't blame them.

-Mr. Horatio

Locked Horns and Broken Alliances

For me, because of the drama, this was a deliciously fun episode. Even Azmyth got sucked into the emotion, looking both hurt and angry at Jay's smackdown at Pirates' Court. Where has all the love gone?

Well, thankfully Joe Don still had some to give. "I love you brother," he said to Louie straight from the heart. "I really do. I've got nothin' with you."

Joe Don's love seemed to stop Louie in his tracks. The vengeful Captain even looked ashamed of his anger and maybe remembered for a second that it was only a game after all.

Or is it? Clearly serious money is at stake. Joe Don and Jay were almost laughing at Azmyth's warm and fuzzy speech. Which got me thinking, was their private spat just an act? "You're done," Jay told Joe Don. "No, forget it, dude." Maybe those two are still scheming and only want people to think their pact is over.

-Mr. Horatio

Pirate Remix

This episode had some real sinkers in the dialog. Joe Don probably had the best lines, moaning over Louie's vengeful ways in an exasperated, stricken daze. I liked the dialog so much this time that I decided to conduct a little literary experiment. What follows are my favorite quotes in a remixed order:

"The guy's unreasonable because I've got all the gold and he's got gold coins in his eyes."

"I mean it was a $5,000 chest from a Frenchman -- eggghh!"

"He's just got this anger in his heart and it won't go away."

"I love you brother. I really do. I've got nothin' with you."

"You're done. No, forget it, dude."

-Mr. Horatio

Myspace Pirates

Word of mouth spreads quickly on the Web and a few fans have already found MySpace pages for some of the Pirates. A number of them are all friends on MySpace. Take a gander:

• Azmyth's MySpace : "Dread Head, but not Dead head. Although I do appreciate the scene & have enjoyed that type of folk & life style for quite awhile. I am an avid listener of electronic music, ( all types, as long as it's got BASS...BABAY.)"
  

• Our former captain also has an Azmyth Soundz page with a suitably over-the-top photo of Azmyth kicking butt in his techno music studio:

• Kendra : Not much going on here because she's got her profile set to private. Boo!
• Sean : A hip page with tricked out music features. "In my opinion the greatest song of all time is Jeff Buckley's rendition of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah'...there is no greater song." There's also a background image of Sean on a subway train sitting next to a clown. Hmmmm, he keeps strange company.
• Joy's Joyous page : "Around me an individual must have fun and must let go of all pathetic insercurites you may have. I always try and give a person the benefit of the doubt until proven guilty. I am proud to be an AKA (ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA)."
• Christa : A fun page about living on the edge and believing in yourself, with, ahem, Miami-style photos.
• Ben : His life is music, music, music. He's got two bands in the works, The Plainfield Project and the Fagan Brothers. Go to his page to have a listen. "i'm your typical crazy ass young feller, livin the dream," he pipes. "Life is good when you are surrounded with the best people on the planet."

• Nessa : The littlest Pirate has a fun, gutsy page. About herself, she writes: "Traveling, adventures, people-watching, drinking red wine, eating good food, PEANUT BUTTER, hot chocolate, the smell of puppy dogs, listening to the rain..., being a hermit, sitting on my roof in the sun, writing, reading, painting, drawing, skiing, drunken bike riding, tearing up the dance floor, boxing, running like the wind."
• Louie : His favorites say it all:
• Movies: Braveheart, The Patriot.
  
• Music: Reggae, Jimmy Buffet.
  
• Television: The Beverly Hillbillies.
  
• Heroes: Elvis.
• Finally, I would be remiss if I did not point out that many of our Pirates have Cameron Daddo as their friend on MySpace. No saucy details. Just windswept visions of our well-dressed host in a sea of sand.
  

-Mr. Horatio

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